“Some Hope, Many Despair”: Experiences of the Normalization within Online Dating among Queer Women in a Closeted Society

Online dating technology mediates various social interactions for LGBTQ+ communities, yet how such technology shapes queerness remains understudied, particularly within queer women’s communities in non-Western settings. To address this gap, we conducted a qualitative study with 17 queer women, aiming to uncover their experiences and challenges in online dating within the conservative context of South Korea. Contrary to their initial expectations of exploring open-ended forms of interaction, we found that dating applications tended to systematically normalize queerness in sexuality presentation, relationship building, and shared identities in the community. These mechanisms forced them to conform to the “normalized queerness,” thereby impeding non-normative and flexible aspects of queer interactions. Building upon these findings, we discuss how the technological affordances of online dating platforms facilitate the normalization of queerness under the influence of sociocultural contexts of South Korea.


INTRODUCTION
Recently, online dating technology has expanded its role to encompass a variety of social interactions, including friendship, activity partners, and even job ads, not just confned to romantic and sexual encounters [79].For lesbians, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) populations with high vulnerability and limited opportunity for interaction in face-to-face settings, such anonymous and virtual environments of dating applications ofer secure places to search for various social connections.In the online dating sphere, prior research has shown that LGBTQ+ populations explore their identities, form friendships, gain social support, build a sense of community, and fnd a romantic partner [19,55,70,76].With these profound roles, researchers in the Human-Computer Interaction (HCI) community have increasingly investigated online dating experiences of the LGBTQ+ populations, focusing on their self-presentation and identity management [5,24,25,44], safety negotiation [2,8,19,55,65], relationship development [19,27,76], and sexual consent [78].
The broad use of online dating technology has introduced the potential to transform queer values, referred to as "queerness," in interactions within LGBTQ+ communities.For instance, prior work has underscored that mobile dating applications diminish the prominence of physicality within queer men's interactions [56][57][58].Likewise, Hardy and Lindtner [38] investigated their power to articulate users' desires in a specifc way, aligning with cosmopolitan gay individuals' life cycles and overshadowing rural contexts.The impact of online dating technology thus extends beyond individual preferences, which infuence the broader dynamics of queerness in the LGBTQ+ communities, articulating particular standards, priorities, and norms of intimate queer interactions.
Despite dating technology's profound impact on the LGBTQ+ community, previous studies in HCI have been limited in exploring technology-mediated queerness within LGBTQ+ women's interactions.Prior research primarily centered on gay men's experiences despite the community's rich diversity and heterogeneity [68].Since the infuence of technology may difer among various subgroups within the diverse LGBTQ+ spectrum, more comprehensive research into the local experiences of subgroups is critical, along with adaptive technology design approaches.
To this end, we examine how online dating technology afects the landscape of queerness in a specifc context -South Korea's LGBTQ+ women's community.As a result of the prevailing collectivist norms emphasizing heterosexuality-oriented normativity, Korean LGBTQ+ women face signifcant structural discrimination and exclusion [47].This environment leaves many queer women in Korea isolated in the closet, lacking opportunities for exploring their queerness and engaging in queer interactions [16].Consequently, online dating technology has garnered considerable popularity among them, ofering secure and accessible avenues for social interactions as queer women.This reliance on online dating provides a unique opportunity to explore how such technology shapes individuals' queerness in interactions.Additionally, the conservative setting of South Korea ofers a pivotal context for analyzing how societal oppressions might be refected and possibly perpetuated within online dating platforms, further marginalizing these women.
Overall, we seek to gain a comprehensive understanding of technology-mediated queer interactions within the Korean queer women's community, focusing on the challenges posed by online dating technology in a conservative, non-Western setting.To this end, we conducted a qualitative interview study with 17 LGBTQ+ women, including lesbian, bisexual, queer, or those questioning or individuals from other sexual minorities who had experienced queer interactions through dating applications.Through semi-structured interviews, we collected ample narratives about the role of online dating technology on participants' life experiences and how this technology infuenced their queerness in terms of sexuality, relationships, and identity within their interactions.As a whole, our fndings addressed the following research questions: • RQ1: What expectations do queer women in South Korea initially have for dating application-mediated interactions compared to their prior experiences within other communication channels?• RQ2: What structural and systematic challenges do online dating technology impose on interactions between Korean queer women?How do the challenges impact their experiences?• RQ3: How do queer women in South Korea strategically use online dating technology to mitigate systematic challenges and enhance their agency?Our fndings uncovered that online dating technology served as a critical platform for queer interactions in South Korea.Participants entered these spaces with the expectation of fnding mutual recognition of queerness, engaging in open-ended interactions, and connecting with a wider queer community.However, they encountered challenges such as stereotypical portrayals of queer sexuality, heteronormative relational expectations, and discrimination against less visible identities.These norms forced them to either adapt or face exclusion.To navigate these obstacles, participants strategically used online dating to foster opportunities for immediate group interactions.Further, our discussion highlighted how the technological design of online dating platforms shapes queerness within these digital spaces while refecting and perpetuating existing sociocultural norms and standards.
This study ofers three signifcant contributions to HCI research on queerness.First, this research deepened our understanding of queer women's practices and perceptions of using dating applications, underscoring how online dating technology impacts this community.Second, we examined online dating technology's pivotal role in shaping queerness, revealing how it could subtly normalize and thus challenge the non-normative and inclusive nature of queer interactions.Third, we delve into the complex interplay between sociocultural norms and technology design in the normalization of queerness, diminishing open queer interactions.

RESEARCH BACKGROUND 2.1 Conceptualizing Queerness in Interactions
Since the late 1980s, the term "queer" has been reclaimed as a comprehensive way to describe all sexualities which are not aligned with the prevailing gender and sexuality norms, such as heteronormativity [23,73].By destabilizing the obvious distinction between genders, sexualities, and related practices, abstracting "queer" in labeling ofers a possible escape from normalizing discourses of homosexuality into certain sexual order, avoiding sub-level stigmatization, exclusion, and discrimination [22,23,74].For this reason, we also embrace the term queer as the all-inclusive label for sexual and gender/ed minorities.
Beyond sexuality, queerness has evolved into an umbrella term signifying a departure from established conventions perceived as normal, legitimate, and dominant in various facets of life [23,34].Within social interactions among individuals with non-normative sexualities, queerness entails nonconforming and fexible practices, perceptions, expectations, and characteristics that defy fxed norms and challenge the status quo [42,43].As elaborated by Butler [6,7,62], the normalizing tendency of sociocultural norms regulates queer beings to emulate and internalize hegemonic practices, idealizing them as acceptable performances.At the core of queerness lies a questioning and subversive practice against such normalization, particularly heteronormativity, where every imaginable narrative of intimacy becomes intelligible only within the framework of heterosexual standards [4,7].It transcends mere prejudice or phobia, encompassing the normalcy "produced in almost every aspect of the forms and arrangements of social life . . .as well as in the conventions and afects of narrativity, romance, and other protected spaces of culture [4, p. 554]." Within the CHI and CSCW communities, queerness as subversion against normalization has been largely explored, encompassing methodology (e.g., Queering design mechanism [37,53,59,68]), individual characteristics (i.e., empirical studies on queer populations [68]), and non-normative factors in user experiences (e.g., queer temporality [37]).As such, prior work has delved into challenging the normalization of queer qualities within methods, samples, and user experiences.Yet, queerness as an aspect of queer lives, particularly in terms of social interactions, remains understudied in this area.
Prior work from queer and interdisciplinary studies has explored how queerness unfolds in social interactions.In terms of queer presentation, Halberstam [32,33] underscored the importance of expressing the strangeness and heterogeneity within and across queer bodies as resources for troubling heteronormativity.Building on this, Weathington and Brubaker [75] provided empirical evidence, examining how threatening it was for queer individuals to defne and encode their identities in standardized vocabularies of a Wikipedia database.For more relational dynamics, Berlant and Warner [4] explored nonstandard characteristics of queer intimacy, including improvisation, self-constitutive relationships, and unsystematized lines of acquaintance, all of which deviate from heteronormative forms of intimacy.More empirically, Hammack and colleagues [35] elaborated on the exploratory values of queer engagement in intimate relationships, where individuals simultaneously participate in multiple relationships with the absence or limited experience of sexual or romantic desire.However, there is still a limited understanding of how these qualities manifest in online interactions and how technology shapes them.In particular, given the predominant role of online dating technology in contemporary queer interactions, there is a signifcant need for further research on how dating technology shapes queerness.

Queer Interactions through Online Dating Technology
In the feld of HCI, a rich body of literature has concentrated on examining online dating technology's promising role in queer identity formation and community belonging.For instance, Fox and Ralston [28] found that online dating platforms could serve as formative learning environments for queer individuals, allowing them to experiment with their identities and learn more about themselves.Also, they could develop intimate connections with a broader community within these spaces [2,13,28], which could mitigate queer men's loneliness by diminishing internalized homophobia [71].
In contrast, queer users often encounter challenging moments associated with self-presentations and privacy concerns during online dating.For example, the location-based "search nearby" feature inadvertently exposes rural gay men's physical locations and raises concerns about unanticipated outings [38].To mitigate such risks, queer men often employed concise and locative self-presentation language in their profles, along with relying on intuition for safety assessment [3,5].As such, Fitzpatrick and colleagues [27] found that queer men engaged in continuous negotiations within online dating applications while connecting with others, sharing information, and building rapport with others.
However, research focusing on the dynamics of online dating and its implications for queer communities has predominantly examined the experiences of queer men within Western contexts (e.g., [5,12,27,44,76]).This leaves a gap in understanding the unique experiences and obstacles encountered by queer women.Recent studies have begun to address this gap, identifying risks such as sexual crimes, harassment, and non-consensual pornography, often facilitated by scam accounts, some of which are operated by infltrators who are not queer women [19,25,66].Lax security measures exacerbate this fear during the user verifcation process [19].Consequently, queer women, especially those identifying with less recognized sexual orientations like pansexuality, often feel the need to adopt more widely recognized labels such as lesbian to validate their authenticity [25].
Yet, queer women, especially those from non-Western contexts, continue to be underrepresented in studies focusing on online dating.This gap in research is particularly signifcant given the diferences in online dating practices and perceptions between LGBTQ+ communities in Western countries and their counterparts in Asia.These diferences can largely be attributed to societal attitudes towards homosexuality, which tend to be less tolerant in many Asian countries, and the strong collectivist norms that dominate these societies [12,25,51].Considering that sexuality is a cultural construct that varies across diferent sociocultural environments [51], it becomes crucial to explore the experiences of queer women within these specifc contexts.

Marginalization of Korean Queer Women
It remains common for South Korean queer women to be marginalized and discriminated against in a variety of social spheres, bearing the dual challenge of being women and sexual minorities [30,45,47].Heteronormative and patriarchal hierarchies prevail in Korean family, legal, and institutional structures, which are intensively interwoven with the marginalization of queer women [46].A historical emphasis on collectivism and Confucianism in Korean society has resulted in intense societal expectations centered around heteronormative family structures that impose signifcant oppression on those who deviate from them, mostly queer populations [46,47].
In the legal domain of Korea, queer individuals often fnd themselves rendered invisible, encountering hate speech that denigrates their sexual orientations, sometimes even from judicial authorities [30].The push for comprehensive anti-discrimination laws prohibiting discrimination against disability, race, and sexuality in public spaces has been stalled for 17 years, primarily due to the absence of a so-called "social consensus." In particular, despite persistent societal calls for legal recognition and protection for unmarried partnerships, including queer couples, legislative eforts are repeatedly stalled by similar justifcations.The most vocal resistance to the sociopolitical recognition of queer individuals primarily comes from Korean Protestant Evangelical Christian organizations, actively campaigning hate-driven activism against queer relationships [63].Amidst this context of sociopolitical opposition, queer women in Korea face the threat of being outed against their will, sexual harassment, and violence, all in an environment devoid of basic legal rights and safeguards [46,48].
Compounding their vulnerability is a lack of awareness of gender diversity, equity, and inclusion.The deep-rooted patriarchal system of Korean society reinforces sexism, gendered bias, and adherence to heteronormative gender binarism.Given the long-standing emphasis on heterosexual marriage and reproduction as central to the patriarchal family model [15,46], women not conforming to these norms face severe misogynistic oppression.Despite strides in women's rights around the world, Korean women continue to face a signifcant wage disparity, pervasive sexual violence, femicide, and resistance from anti-feminist activism [67].
In this context, queer women, who challenge both heteronormative family ideologies and patriarchal gender expectations, experience a dual layer of marginalization.Lesbian and bisexual women in Korea have reported the highest perception of susceptibility to hate crimes and violence among all LGBTQ+ subgroups [31].However, only a minority report these incidents, largely due to doubts regarding the efectiveness of legal and institutional protections available in the country [31].Moreover, raised in a society where heteronormative and patriarchal values are deeply ingrained, these individuals often struggle to fnd and assert their identities in a society that ofers limited support for a fexible and inclusive understanding of gender from a young age [16].

Korean Queer Women's Social Interaction
Historically, queer women in Korea have sought to develop supportive connections within their communities, both ofine and online, in order to bypass pervasive societal oppression and discrimination.This network has allowed them to cultivate intimate relationships with trusted individuals and openly discuss their sexualities [31].In the past, physical spaces such as queer women-friendly restaurants, bars, clubs, and parks in specifc urban areas served as important gathering spots for the community [77].However, since the mid-1990s, the community has expanded its presence to various online platforms, including private websites, online forums, social networking services like Twitter, and anonymous group messengers.One notable example is TGNet, which emerged as the frst and largest website for Korean queer women since 2008, boasting tens of thousands of users [36].
These communities have strategically been concealed to evade societal discrimination and violence, prioritizing safety over visibility [45,46,77].For example, ofine clubs were often located on upper foors in back alleys, making it difcult for heterosexual individuals to stumble upon them accidentally [77].Similarly, most online communities and group messengers operate with anonymous memberships, granting access only to approved users via unsearchable links.Through such selective screening, online communities establish perceptually secure digital spaces, making it easy to block strangers [45,46].
Starting with TopL in 2014, various online dating technologies have proliferated among Korean queer women communities, opening up new avenues for social interactions.In Korea, queer women can seek interactions on some platforms exclusive to queers, such as TopL, Zoe, Her, and Pink, or others use Tinder and Bumble, which are open to a broader population with customizable gender preferences.Typically, a location-based algorithmic matchmaking system allows users to connect with nearby individuals in real-time easily.With this advantage, online dating platforms have drawn signifcant user interest, with TopL alone exceeding 100,000 downloads as of September 2023 [64].
Despite the growing importance of dating technologies in their lives, there remains a signifcant gap in research specifcally addressing the impact of online dating technologies on Korean queer women.This gap highlights a critical need for a deeper exploration into how dating technology infuences the landscape of technologymediated queerness and queer interactions among Korean women.

STUDY DESIGN
This study aims to understand the expectations, challenges, and coping strategies of queer women's online dating, specifcally within the conservative context of South Korea.To this end, we conducted semi-structured interviews with 17 queer women in South Korea.

Recruitment
In this study, we recruited participants from online communities and social media, specifcally queer adult women (including lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender women, queers, or questioners) in South Korea who had used online dating and were seeking interactions with other queer women.In order to recruit, we advertised on multiple channels, including queer women sub-forums on the university-based online forum "Everytime" and community-based mobile dating applications like "Sis." The recruitment posting outlined our research goals, purpose, compensation, eligibility criteria (aged over 18 and online dating experience), and privacy protection measures.Those interested in learning more about the study could enter the private message room anonymously by clicking the link provided.In order to participate in the study, potential participants were required to fll out the sign-up form to provide preferred nicknames (pseudonyms), preferred participation method (in-person or online), age, gender identity, sexual orientation, and contact information.

Participants
In this study, we recruited 17 participants.The age range was 20 to 29 (M=24.47,SD=2.72).All lived in Korea at the time of the study.Sixteen participants self-identifed as women (including fve participants who indicated they were cisgender).One participant identifed themself as a nonbinary person close to female (P7).The majority of participants identifed as lesbian (N=11), bisexual (N=5), asexual (N=2), and other orientations (i.e., pansexual, panromantic, biromantic, and queer).Five participants identifed themselves as having multiple sexual and romantic orientations.Despite our eforts to recruit people of varying identities and orientations, we were unable to recruit transgender participants.All participants reported using online dating platforms for a duration ranging from one month (P14) to 12 years (P10), and their mean period of online dating technology use was 4.5 years (SD=2.8).The number of online dating platforms they had used ranged from one to fve, with an average of 3.05 platforms.At the time of the study, seven participants reported having used "TopL, " fve used "Sis, " four used "Zoe, " and one had used "Tinder" most frequently.Table 1 below presents the key demographic characteristics of our participants.

Semi-structured Interview
We conducted semi-structured interviews with 17 queer adult women who had experience with social interaction through online dating platforms, aiming to understand their life experience of technologymediated queer interactions.Prior to the interviews, participants were asked to sign a consent form and complete a preliminary survey.Both documents were provided in Korean, the native language of all participants and researchers.The preliminary survey aimed to gather information about the participants' backgrounds, including their preferred interview method (in-person or online), preferred name, age, gender identities, sexual orientations, and contact information.While most interviews were conducted online using Zoom, an in-person option was available for those who preferred it.Four participants (P9, 11, 14, 17) opted for in-person interviews, which were conducted in a private and secure environment accessible only to researchers and participants.All interviews were conducted in Korean by the frst author.
Interviews began with the researcher introducing the study's objectives and privacy protection measures.Initial inquiries focused on the participants' online dating history, including the duration, types, and number of applications used, as well as their initial motivations, temporal changes in user purposes, and present relational expectations.Next, participants were invited to share personal episodes of online dating, recounting the most meaningful, impressive, and risky interactions they had experienced.Additionally, we posed questions about their prior queer interaction and community experiences before engaging in online dating and their perceptions of the opportunities and challenges presented by online dating technology.Furthermore, participants discussed their online dating usage practices, including profle creation, location-based recommendations, chat conversations, and decision-making processes.The interviews concluded with refections on the role of online dating technology in their social networking and life experiences as queer women.Each interview lasted 60 to 90 minutes and was audio-recorded and transcribed with the interviewee's consent.Participants received compensation of KRW 25,000 (equivalent to USD $20).

Ethical and Privacy Considerations
Throughout this study, we prioritized safeguarding participants' privacy and minimizing the potential exposure of their identity or personal information, considering the sensitive nature of their circumstances.To achieve this, we implemented rigorous measures at every stage of the study.This study procedure was approved by the Seoul National University's Institutional Review Board (IRB).
During the recruitment phase, all communication with potential participants, including inquiries and sign-ups, took place through anonymous chats on "KakaoTalk, " a widely used private messaging system in South Korea.Participants used random nicknames for anonymity.The recruitment documents distributed across various social network platforms clearly outlined the principles of personal information management and protection.
During the interviews, informed consent was obtained from participants before each interview, with a clear explanation that they had the right to skip uncomfortable questions or withdraw from the study at any point.Recordings were made with both verbal and written consent, and they were immediately discarded once transcribed.Furthermore, when interviews took place in videoconferencing systems, participants were encouraged to disable their video cameras to maintain anonymity.For those who preferred inperson sessions, we ensured a secure and private environment accessible only to participants and the researcher.
Analyzing the interview data, participants were identifed only by their assigned IDs (e.g., P1).During transcription, a careful review was conducted to remove any potentially identifable information.

Data Analysis
All interview data were audio-recorded for qualitative data analysis.Recordings were transcribed by a speech recognition engine, Naver Clova Note.The frst author then iteratively reviewed the transcripts, removing identifable information, as well as fxing transcription errors.A thematic analysis was conducted with the transcription to discover recurrent codes and concepts and to identify high-level themes.In the thematic analysis process, we employed Constructivist Grounded Theory Methods to explore the underlying implications of phenomena and develop theoretical categories [14,29].This approach considers scientifc descriptions socially constructed within specifc sociocultural contexts and interprets them while refecting on the subjectivity of researchers [14,61].This approach has been particularly valued in HCI research to understand intricate meanings from experiences that are either underexplored or lack an established theoretical framework, thereby aiding in the construction of theories that elucidate the phenomena in question [29,61].In particular, it has been utilized in understanding the experiences of marginalized populations, such as queer communities (e.g., [21,72]).
Following the constructivist grounded theory analysis method [14], the frst author began by coding each line of the interview transcriptions, assigning relevant concepts or codes to them.This initial coding was then reviewed and validated by the other two authors.Through the process of iterative coding, these initial codes, which represented similar phenomena, were grouped into clusters by afnity diagramming [60].
To ensure analytic reliability, all authors engaged in a collaborative efort to review and refne these clusters through comparative analysis.This rigorous, iterative approach led to the identifcation of 172 unique clusters.Following this, during the theoretical coding phase, the frst author mapped out the interconnections between these clusters, organizing them into broader categories that encapsulate the intricate and multifaceted implications of online dating technology in participants' lives.This entire analytical process was conducted in Korean, the language in which the interviews were originally conducted, to preserve the authenticity and nuances of the data.The frst author, profcient in both Korean and English, was responsible for translating the insights and fndings into English during the writing phase, ensuring that the essence of the analysis was accurately conveyed.

Research Position Statement
The frst author conducting interviews and data analysis was born and raised in Korea as a cisgender woman.Her active involvement as an ally within various segments of the Korean LGBTQ+ community, both online and ofine, with a particular connection to the communities of queer women, has enriched her understanding and sensitivity towards these groups.Her familiarity with the community's specifc cultural norms and language has further enriched the research, ensuring that the fndings genuinely refect the experiences and perspectives of the participants.

FINDINGS
In this section, we frst present the initial expectations participants had toward online dating technologies in facilitating queer interactions.We then examine the discrepancies between these expectations and their actual experiences, highlighting the process of queerness normalization within online dating platforms.This normalization afected various aspects of their experiences, including how they presented their sexuality, formed relationships, and established the boundaries of the queer community.As a result of this normative framework, our participants were forced to choose between conforming to specifc normative standards or being excluded for deviating from these norms.Finally, we elucidate the strategies our participants employed to circumvent these normative constraints, aiming to broaden their opportunities for more fexible explorations of queer relationships by leveraging the immediacy of online dating technology.

Initial Expectations on Queer Interactions in Online Dating Technology
Before the advent of online dating technology, participants in our study had utilized a mix of physical and digital channels to establish connections within the queer community.A considerable number (N=14) of them had already found signifcant ways to engage with others, such as through ofine friendships, queer clubs at universities, Twitter, university-afliated online forums, and various online communities dedicated to queer women.These channels had facilitated a wide array of relationships, ranging from close friendships to romantic relationships, as well as fandom connections, hobby clubs, and even academic or business collaborations.Despite the variety of such channels, the potential for queer interactions was markedly limited in South Korea, where disclosing one's non-heteronormative sexuality is very uncommon.The low visibility of queer identities, coupled with high levels of discrimination, signifcantly marginalizes queer experiences in daily life.Therefore, participants often had relied on improvised methods and street knowledge to identify fellow queer individuals, such as looking for black rings rumored to be worn by queer people or hoping for serendipitous encounters through mutual queer friendships.These approaches had been hit-or-miss, making it difcult for participants to access a broad range of queer individuals, especially outside their existing social networks.
There was a rumor queer people wore black rings, so I used to look at people's rings on the street.Or, miraculously, some people met naturally in the queer club on campus.But I've never been lucky.(P3) Such limited opportunities for queer interactions in everyday life had led our participants to view online dating platforms with optimism, seeing them as key venues for broader queer connections.This optimism had been particularly fueled by the expectation of encountering others who shared a "mutual queerness, " eliminating the need to guess the sexual orientations of potential connections.Online dating, therefore, had become a preferred space for queer interactions, ofering a community and a sense of belonging that were challenging to fnd in other settings.
Knowing each other's sexual orientation was quite comforting.In my everyday life, I try really hard not to judge others' orientation, assuming everyone is heterosexual. . . .But I can feel more comfortable with each encounter (from online dating) since we all met on this app.It feels like meeting people from your home country in a foreign country.(P10) Further, online dating platforms had emerged as the most accessible medium for real-time interactions among queer women, transcending the constraints of time and location.P1 believed that she "can access people to hang out immediately whenever [she] feel[s] bored." This accessibility had been particularly valued by fve participants (P3, 5-6, 12, 15) who lived or had lived in rural areas where queer interaction opportunities were markedly limited.For instance, P5 had found online dating applications to be essential for networking while staying in her rural hometown during the COVID-19 pandemic.
When the pandemic hit, I had to stay at home for more than two and a half years, even after becoming an adult.It was hard to fnd ways to interact with people near my rural towns.That was why I had started using the dating app, not to fnd someone to date but to fnd friends.(P5) As such, participants had anticipated that online dating platforms would have enabled them to connect with individuals from various backgrounds, thus expanding their queer networks beyond their current social circles.For instance, P2 had anticipated that she could "meet people with the same orientation in more diverse contexts." This diversity held particular signifcance in Korea, where opportunities to experience diverse queer lifestyles were limited.Within these expanded networking opportunities, participants had held a strong desire to engage in connections without necessarily seeking specifc relational intentions.When asked about their initial motivations for using dating applications, participants typically mentioned a desire for "people watching (P3)" and a wish to "meet people like me (P6)." This perception mirrored their previous experiences of queer interactions through other channels, where they had "engaged in conversations for a longer time, and get to know others gradually (P10), " without having specifc relational goals in mind.This openended approach to interaction had facilitated their exploratory socializing, allowing them to develop confdence in their sexuality as queer women.
Before, I used to wonder if I liked girls, but I wasn't confdent of it.However, last year, I had my frst romantic relationship with a girl from Twitter.During that relationship, I realized I don't have romantic feelings for guys.So, I got to know myself better and gained confdence.(P14)

Systematic Normalization of Queerness in Online Dating
Contrary to their initial expectations, our participants encountered a highly normative environment after entering online dating platforms.The norms and technological afordance of dating applications compelled participants to articulate previously indeterminate aspects of their queerness, including sexuality, relationship, and identity.Those who did not neatly align with specifc normative categories, which were regarded as normal within dating applications, often faced rejection or exclusion, leading them to either cease their usage or internalize these normative standards.

Categorizing
Self and Others into Stereotypical Norms.Upon initially entering the online dating platform, participants (N=7, P1, 4, 6-8, 12, 14) encountered a multitude of initials and abbreviations on the text biography on other users' profles, which signifcantly embarrassed them.These cryptic terms, functioning as slang within the online sphere, posed a substantial challenge for participants to comprehend their meaning.Several of them described a feeling of arriving in an "unfathomed world, which [they] couldn't fully grasp in a day or two (P1), " fostering a sense that they "shouldn't be coming (P4)." At frst, there were a lot of weird and hard-to-understand acronyms there.I remembered reaching out to others and asking around, trying to fgure out what they meant.They felt like a highly exclusive world, not open to novices like me.(P12).After several days of exploring dating apps, participants realized this slang indicated users' preferred role in physical intimacy, mirroring stereotypical gender roles in heteronormative sexual interactions.For instance, terms like ongip (abbreviated for "only giver" indicating a preference for giving physical touch during sexual encounters without receiving) or ontek (abbreviated for "only taker," contrasting with ongip) were commonly used to express users' expectations of physical intimacy.Often, these categorizations were linked to detailed appearance attributes such as hair length and body type, which perpetuated stereotypical expectations.For instance, short-haired individuals were expected to exhibit masculine wearing and behavior and fulfll traditionally male roles in sexual interactions.In other words, short-haired women must be "butch" or "giver." Participants commonly reported that the categorization was typically and habitually utilized by other users' profle bios.For instance, P16 reported her observation of the widespread use of slang to exhibit individual qualifcations for interactions.She likened dating applications to a marketplace exhibiting the lists of products' conditions.
It felt as though I had walked into a butcher's shop.The whole scene was truly shocking.It reminded me of the matchmaking market for weddings, where people would list their preferences and conditions for everything, from body shape and hair length to smoking habits, where they lived, and even their preferred sex positions.I couldn't help but think, "Seriously?!" (P16) The normative expectation produced a hierarchy between categories.In particular, P16 described the salient preference towards certain appearance characteristics that adhered to the stereotypical gender expressions.She noted that queer women in dating applications preferred long-haired women or those conforming to a "normal style" (i.e., who look like heterosexual and are not readily distinguished as a queer) while exhibiting disdain for short hair or an "obvious butch" style (i.e., who display masculine fashion and traits and are easily identifed as queer).She added that those who did not ft this preferred criteria experienced cumulative rejections within the platform.Although P16 had never previously identifed herself as neither "normal style" nor "obvious butch," she was labeled and rejected as "short hair" by other users who assessed her hairstyle as masculine.
Before I started online dating, I never really thought of myself as being categorized as a "short-hair girl."But then, when I mentioned having a bob style, some people said that I should have a more feminine vibe in my hairstyle, not to be classifed as a "short-hair girl."It was honestly ridiculous.(P16) This normalized categorization further became internalized by some participants.While being exposed to normative demands, they felt compelled to describe themselves according to those preferred categories.Gradually, they had learned that following these norms led to more success in online dating, despite frustrations with "ftting myself into such frame (P16)" to be "sold well (P10)." Because people are attracted to specifc qualities, I feel pressured to exhibit those traits.It feels like everyone is participating in role-playing for relationships.(P10) P15, who has actively participated in online communities for Korean queer women for 12 years, noted that this culture of harsh conditioning and judgment had emerged relatively recently.In her view, there had been a prevalent tendency within current queer women's communities for individuals to assess how well others aligned with preferred qualities.
When I was involved in "this side (a slang implying being a queer among the Korean queer community)" before, I didn't confne myself to a specifc type or position in relationships. . . .Nowadays, it feels like everything is too rigidly defned before encounters, like labeling and being labeled as a "giver" or "taker."If someone has short hair, it becomes difcult to be accepted in some clubs. . . .It seems like everybody says, "I'll only call you if your hair is long enough; otherwise, I'm not interested." (P15) Figure 1: Screenshots of profle categories in online dating technologies for Korean queer women.These criteria consist of sexuality, gender identity, categories of interaction goals, relationship status, region, appearance (height, body shape, eye, and hair color, piercing, and tattoo), types of physical touch, whether the subject smokes or drinks, interests, as well as a selfe.The frst author translated the green text on the left from Korean to English.
Likewise, P13 compared her prior experience of queer interactions to online dating, noting that she found herself "making quick judgments of others and cutting relationships of very easily", as "becom[ing] pickier than before." In online dating, one's visual representation through profle images had emerged as a primary means of self-expression.Additionally, dating applications' profle interfaces tended to include a range of descriptive categories (Figure 1).At the time of interviews, users were prompted to select from predefned categories describing their appearance, including height, body shape, eye and hair color, and whether they had piercings or tattoos.However, these categories, while ofering some structure, limited the richness of language available for self-presentation.Consequently, they found themselves categorizing and evaluating others based on these labels before fully exploring how to express themselves.Some participants expressed internal confict between the values they held in connecting with others and the prevalent mechanisms of online dating applications.
I fnd that I need sustained conversation to establish a meaningful connection with someone.However, on dating apps, the initial interaction hinges on mutual attraction based on visual images before any conversation can take place.This can be frustrating for me.(P10) They felt that such emphasis on appearance and predefned labels led to shallow and superfcial encounters.Consequently, they felt disillusioned with the queer community on the platform and decided to stop using dating apps.However, the absence of a comparable alternative for queer interaction eventually led them to return to dating platforms, trapping them in a cycle of exiting and reentering.
The app makes me skeptical at times.At such times, I thought I did not need to be obsessed with this community. . . .But after deleting it, I felt disconnected.I thought, "This is the only way to meet people.I should adjust to this place." So I downloaded it again.(P4) 4.2.2Canalizing the Type of Relationships.Our study found that participants frequently encountered difculties in maintaining ongoing interactions, often experiencing sudden discontinuations in communication, a phenomenon they referred to as "ghosting." This abrupt end to conversations signifcantly obstructed their ability to forge sustained connections and delve into their relational desires and compatibility with potential partners.For example, P15 highlighted how her anticipation of forming a variety of relationships, not limited to romantic ones, was compromised by the transient nature of interactions typical of online dating platforms.
I thought the dating app (for queer women) would be a place where I could make friends and date, so I talked to a bunch of people, but they were mostly one-time encounters.(P15) Such feeting nature of online dating left participants feeling restless, as they felt they needed to speed up the transition from the initial interaction to a committed romantic relationship.This pressure heightened notably after the interaction reached a certain depth, often following the frst ofine meeting, prompting participants to determine the defnite form of each interaction quickly.Notably, several participants (P1-3, 6, 15, 17) described feeling compelled to adopt a more romantic behavior to sustain the connection.P17, in particular, expressed feeling stressed by the pressure to establish romantic relationships quickly.
When you meet someone through dating applications, there is a lot of pressure.There are typical rules and guidelines like, "On Zoe, if you want to date, you have to start dating someone matched within three days and start relationships before three times of ofine dating, or else it fzzles out." These are quite rigid rules.(P17) As a result, participants found themselves feeling compelled to make quick judgments regarding the potential for a romantic relationship, even before reaching a sufcient understanding of their match.If no romantic potential was perceived, it was considered reasonable to end the connection abruptly and explore other matches.This prevailing emphasis on immediate romantic connections within online dating platforms stifed the possibility of forming non-romantic relationships, such as platonic bonds or friendships.The romance-oriented atmosphere particularly discouraged participants who identifed as asexual, such as P7.
As an asexual individual who is not particularly focused on romantic or sexual relationships, it is hard for me to engage with online dating technologies.(P7) Asked about the reason for the romance-oriented nature of online dating platforms, participants primarily attributed it to the technological afordance inherent in online dating interfaces, particularly emphasizing the swiping mechanism.They pointed out that the swiping mechanism, wherein users were forced to make quick and binary decisions of "like" or "dislike" based solely on visual images of others' appearance, rendered their judgment practice straightforward and routine.Further, they said the terms frequently used in dating applications, such as "like" or "matching, " reinforced the idea that these judgments were intrinsically linked to romantic pursuits.
As a result, this design nudged participants' initially broad and open-ended intentions for making connections towards romantic engagements, channeling all interactions on the platforms in the direction of dating and limiting the scope for other types of relationships.For example, P14 shared her experience of feeling compelled to view each match as a potentially serious, romantic relationship.She said this pressure stemmed from the implications of her "like" action, signifed by a right swipe, leading her to believe she had signaled a desire for a romantic connection to her matches.
Consequently, the rushed and shallow nature of the matching mechanism and its implications led participants to encounter considerable obstacles in developing profound rapport and intimacy through dating applications, spanning both friendships and romantic relationships.Among nine participants (P1, 7-8, 10, 12-16) who noted their primary purpose of using dating applications was to fnd a romantic partner, the majority of them (N=6, P1, 7, 10, 12-13, 16) reported that they rarely achieved this goal.Likewise, several participants (N=5, P2-4, 6, 11) who had sought meaningful one-onone relationships, more than half of them (P2-4) reported failing to achieve this goal.
When it comes to one-to-one meetings, I don't think dating applications were particularly helpful for me....However, I've heard of cases where individuals developed mutual feelings through these apps, leading to engagements, obtaining U.S. green cards, and even planning weddings.It seems there's a polar opposite, with a few stories of hope mixed in with a majority of despair.(P2) These participants typically blamed themselves for their inability to establish meaningful relationships, unfavorably comparing their unsuccessful attempts to the success stories of others.For example, fve participants (P4, 6,10,14,17) attributed their repeated failures to form meaningful connections to their lack of conversation skills or insufcient enthusiasm in interactions.
It might have been a problem with me that the conversation didn't last long.I wondered if the reason this person gradually stopped responding properly might have been that I couldn't make the conversation interesting.(P14) Eventually, many participants decided to leave online dating platforms.More than half of the participants (N=9, P1-2, 4, 6-7, 9, 11, 13, 16) had stopped using dating applications after rediscovering that other channels, both online and ofine, ofered greater fexibility and spontaneity in pursuing diverse relationships, with fewer negative experiences.For example, after using dating applications for two and half a year, P6 became gradually frustrated by the repetitively short and meaningless encounters within online dating platforms.Consequently, P6 turned to Twitter, where she could "explore and communicate with many people without requiring immediate relationship outcomes." Similarly, P2 moved to an online forum related to her university, fnding it a more natural environment to connect with people who shared broader commonalities beyond just queer sexuality.

Enforcing Homogeneity of
Identity within the Qeer Community.Many participants felt that online dating technology required them to conform to homogeneous standards of "acceptable queerness" based on the categorization of identities and sexualities.Within online dating platforms, certain subgroups of the community were considered normal, leading to the exclusion of those with "abnormal" identities and sexualities.Several participants (N=4, P1, 2, 7, 9) pointed out the evident exclusionary attitudes and behaviors within these platforms, especially towards those who were relatively underrepresented, such as bisexual individuals.For example, P9, who identifed as bisexual, revealed experiencing hate speech and rejection based on their bisexuality while engaging in online dating.
There were people saying, "I don't like bisexuals," in front of my face.This distances me from the dominant community culture.(P9) Likewise, some participants noted that transgender individuals also faced exclusion within online dating platforms.P7 recalled frequently encountering exclusionary language directed at transgender individuals on other users' profles or during conversations, expressing a desire to avoid such interactions.Consequently, P7 included explicit statements like "Don't be transphobic" in her profle bio, aiming to "flter those discriminative people out in the frst place." As such, labels on user profles presenting their gender identity and sexual orientation served as a source of stigmatization for those relatively marginalized.
Furthermore, user verifcation features also contributed to a systematic exclusion mechanism, distinguishing individuals deviant from the legal gender binary.As part of the entry process, users had to verify their identities by inputting their national identifcation number and telephone number.This process identifed the assigned gender of individuals, blocking legally male individuals' entry.P2 saw this screening mechanism could be discriminatory since it was "not open to trans women who identify with diferent genders than their (legally and biologically) assigned gender (P2)." Following the legal verifcation, users were prompted to undergo a secondary verifcation step by submitting facial selfes to the applications.Human and/or AI inspectors evaluated these images to determine whether the users appeared to be women or others, subsequently providing verifcation labels on the profles of approved users.Similar to the legal verifcation, individuals who were not identifed as women did not receive verifcation labels.This selfe verifcation system primarily relied on appearance-based screening mechanisms to determine users' gender.Users who did not conform to the app's standards of feminine appearance also encountered restrictions in accessing the platform.For example, P9 emphasized the importance of meeting these appearance standards in the online dating environment and shared an experience of her trans-woman friend being rejected after submitting a selfe for user verifcation.Some of our participants (P2-3) also reported experiencing blockages by the platform's random inspection mechanisms.
I tried to get verifcation once, but even though I sent them a picture of my face with eyes, nose, and mouth, it didn't work.I was restricted.Since then, I have not used the verifcation function.(P3) This arbitrary approach signifcantly amplifed participants' concerns regarding security.During our interview, participants shared a heightened awareness of the potential risks of online dating, notably concerning the infltration of non-queer women, who turned out to be men.Six participants (P1, 7-8, 13-14, 16) shared threatening encounters with male individuals during online dating.Conversely, the majority of other participants (P3-5, 9-10, 12, 15, 17), although not directly encountering such incidents, also expressed a pervasive anxiety about the presence of infltrators.Their apprehension stemmed from shared experiences of harassment reported by other users, which circulated through various online and ofine channels.These included stories of risky encounters shared within interpersonal chats with online daters and cautionary posts from community-based dating applications.
This collective understanding of potential threats prompted participants to call for more robust entry barriers on the platforms.During the interviews, there was a prevalent demand to tighten entry requirements and bolster the platform by enhancing scrutiny of users' biological or legal sex.Addressing perceived shortcomings in the user verifcation system, six participants (P3, 7, 12, 13, 15-16) advocated for the implementation of personal inspectors for profle photos to screen individuals who did not appear to be women.They believed implementing these measures would enhance their comfort and trust in using the technology, thus improving their perceived safety.
If the regulating hurdle for signup or authentication becomes tighter, my chance of meeting guys on these applications would decrease.It would provide me with more psychological stability.(P16) Some participants noted that the exclusionary mechanisms of dating apps need to target not only potential male infltrators but also transgender individuals.They expressed unease about encountering transgender users, calling for stricter screening processes to mitigate this.This concern was fueled by experiences of sexual harassment from male individuals who falsely presented themselves as male-to-female transgender individuals, engaging in behaviors like stalking and sending sexual images.
As a result of these concerns and incidents, the platform norms evolved to favor a cisgender lesbian identity as the standard of acceptance, justifed by a perceived vulnerability of the platform's security measures.These arbitrary boundaries were manifested in the form of stipulated gender identity criteria (e.g., "only for lesbians") or biological sex specifcations (e.g., "only for females") on users' profles.As a result, individuals who did not conform to these dominant identities or the binary framework of sexual orientation, such as bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender, or genderqueer individuals, found themselves at risk of exclusion.
This sense of exclusion led to disengagement from online dating technology, undermining the potential for queer interaction and community building.For instance, P9, who identifed as bisexual, had cumulatively experienced exclusionary language in online dating applications and chose to stop using them to seek meaningful connections.Instead, she sought out alternative avenues for queer interactions, such as by joining a choir club for queer women.I've almost given up now.I have thrown away the desire to truly belong to the lesbian community.Whenever I went to places like that (community), I just pretended to be a lesbian for a little without expecting to form deep connections. . . .The only people who have been close to me are my college peers, choir mates, and friends on Twitter, while meaningful relationships were rare through the application.(P9)

Strategy for Countering the Normalization
As such, our participants felt that online dating technology fell short of providing them with ample opportunities to explore the diverse facets of queer sexuality, forms of relationships, and community boundaries.Rather, they felt that such technologies normalized these facets.Addressing these challenges, some participants devised strategies to maximize the opportunity for exploration.Primarily, they leveraged the immediacy and physicality ofered by online dating technology, subverting the normalized atmosphere within online dating platforms.
In particular, the immediate mediation of interaction was regarded as a prominent advantage of dating applications, which enabled our participants to connect with other women at any time and from any location.With this feature, P6 and 15 have actively participated in social gatherings with nearby users, facilitated by the location-based matchmaking algorithms that introduced users in proximity.The "search nearby" feature also proved benefcial to participants like P3, 9, and 17, who utilized it to fnd one-time activity partners in their neighborhood, such as study or workmates at a nearby cafeteria.
The online dating app is useful when I want to spontaneously gather with someone without any prior appointment, purely on impulse.I might ask something like, "It's Friday today, so who wants to meet and grab a drink with me?" or "Who's up for doing something together over the weekend?" (P9) Utilizing the primary benefts of immediacy and proximity, some participants (P1-2, 6, 14) devised strategies to immerse themselves in natural environments conducive to exploring queer interactions.They expressed a preference for participating in one-to-many social gatherings organized through dating applications.In these settings, they could engage in spontaneous conversations and pursue deeper connections in a more natural atmosphere.For example, P1 said she preferred one-to-many casual gatherings over one-to-one interactions, even when seeking romantic opportunities.
In a one-on-one situation, I often fnd myself struggling to keep the conversation going beyond simple responses like "Oh, really?I see."And it made me burdened and awkward.So fnding romantic partners in group settings is less mentally burdensome for me.(P1) Further, some participants envisioned online dating technology evolving to systematically facilitate such group interactions.P3, 6, and 12 proposed the implementation of a one-to-group matching feature, suggesting that it could "introduce users to specifc communities or groups as a whole (P3)," thereby enhancing the potential for successful networking.They believed that such group matching systems could create inclusive environments and facilitate various types of interactions.
I came up with the idea of having group chat rooms or similar spaces within online dating applications where multiple people can have conversations.In doing so, dating apps could evolve into a community for queer individuals, more than just for dating.It would provide an opportunity for users to build friendships in a comfortable environment.(P12)

DISCUSSION
Overall, our fndings revealed that online dating technology could not adequately support the core aspects of queerness in interactions, encompassing non-normativity, spontaneity, and fexibility [4,32,33] among Korean queer women.Instead, these platforms prioritized and promoted particular practices, desires, and values in interactions, thereby perpetuating a wide range of normalization frameworks.Such normalization was manifested in three dimensions: when presenting their sexualities, establishing relational expectations, and negotiating the boundary of communities.In particular, we found that participants felt pressured to conform their appearance and personal traits to traditional frameworks of femininity.We also found that online dating technologies often emphasized romantic pursuits as the primary goal, leading to a shift in participants' initial motivation for exploratory and open-ended relationships towards a focus on establishing romantic connections.This normalization trend also impacted community identities, considering individuals with female bodies who exclusively felt attraction towards women as "normal" and valid members.
In particular, our fndings shed light on the suppressive consequences of normalization, which marginalized potentially underrepresented traits of some queer individuals, creating an exclusionary environment that invalidated the diversity inherent in the queer community.As these individuals faced continuous rejection and disconnection, they gradually came to realize that qualities acceptable in other queer community channels were not tolerated within the norms of online dating.In other words, the degree to which individuals conformed to the norms dictated their acceptance on the platform, leading to an internalization of a normative hierarchy, order, and distinctions among queer individuals.As such, many participants reported adhering to these norms, engaging in normative practices, and internalizing prescriptive judgment systems to gain access to interaction opportunities.This internalization process of "normalized queerness" was further facilitated by dating platforms' design, which implicitly reinforced the normative framework through profle images and categories, terminologies, and swiping mechanisms.
These fndings contrasted with a majority of prior work that highlighted the promising role of online dating technology in facilitating queerness.A large body of studies highlighted how online dating could contribute to supporting the exploration of queer identity and facilitating inclusive interactions within queer community (e.g., [3,5,44,65]).For instance, Jaspal [44] highlighted how online dating platforms could assist gay and bisexual men in England in constructing their queer identities and socializing with other users, ofering them full autonomy over their profle presentations.Similarly, Cui and colleagues [19] investigated the online dating experiences of Chinese sexual minority women, emphasizing how these platforms facilitated their ability to form diverse relationships with individuals who shared similar sexual orientations.
While our participants also had been optimistic about the potential of online dating to provide positive experiences similar to those identifed in previous research, we found that these platforms perpetuated a wide range of normalized queerness.This led to various negative experiences for participants, including feelings of embarrassment, experiences of exclusion, and challenges in forming meaningful intimate connections.
In order to understand why and how such normalization occurred, it would be critical to examine the nuanced interplay between the sociocultural contexts and the technological afordances of online dating platforms for queer women in South Korea.In the following section, we refect on how the normalization of queerness not only mirrored the dominant social, cultural, and political norms of Korean society but was shaped by the design of these platforms.

Prioritizing Conventional Presentation of Femininity
Our study highlighted online dating platforms enforced a strict categorization of sexuality based on normative gender expressions among Korean queer women, favoring heteronormative femininity.According to our interview, what was regarded as normal and preferred in online dating was primarily "normal style," who expressed their femininity in a traditional way which was typically associated with long hair.Conversely, those deviating from these norms, like women with short hair perceived as "obvious butch," faced signifcant rejection, illustrating a norm rooted in adherence to normative femininity.To trace how this trend was created and oriented to such normativity, it is worth noting the impact of the late 1990s' neoliberal turn of Korean society on the dynamics of queer communities.As Western discourses on queer sexualities were imported during the early 1990s, the concept of butch was introduced to Korean queer women [67].This newfound sexuality destabilized the traditional dichotomies of femininity and masculinity.However, after the foreign exchange crises of the late 1990s, an individual's stability in life was completely preserved by their kinship family in the absence of national systems.Therefore, many queer individuals left the queer community and were (re)incorporated into the heteronormative family system to live a "normal" life [39].In this context, beings like butches, who explicitly expressed their queerness at the borderline of gender binarism, challenged the normative family order, which was regarded as a threat to individuals' survival [39].This led to Korean queer communities' strong attachment to normativity and a collective sense of discomfort with revealing queerness.
To evade rejection from society, queer individuals with nonconforming sexualities have distanced themselves from categories loaded with "uncomfortable" queerness, such as the "obvious butch", opting instead for alternatives perceived as having less queerness, like "normal style".As a result, individual characteristics, including appearance, sexualities, and desires, have been dissociated from one's unique life contexts.Also, queerness has not been appreciated as a source of pride or liberation but instead minimized and hidden as much as possible.This shift refects a broader societal pressure to conform to normative standards, sidelining the visibility and expression of diverse queer sexualities.
In this context, online dating platforms have been considered as the ideal place for individuals who share this collective preference for decontextualization.Typically, online dating applications emphasize users' visual attributes, mostly through profle pictures, while minimizing the use of rich language to express individuality [5].This design inadvertently allows users to easily flter out those who deviate from normative standards of sexuality presentation.Also, users often rely on categorizations in bios and gender cues from profle images to determine whom to exclude from potential matches.Consequently, our participants felt compelled to internalize and conform to these normative assumptions to avoid being regarded as "abnormal" and excluded.This observation aligns with prior research indicating that explicit gender selection frameworks in dating applications, which involve labeling pronouns, gender, and sexual orientations, lead to the stronger association of gender with specifc body types and facial structures in profle photos [54].Further, other research highlighted that such connotative assumptions made queer or women users adhere to conventional gender and racial norms [18,50,52]

Perpetuating Romance-centric Intimacy within Queer Relationships
Our research highlighted that participants had an initial expectation for open-ended and indeterminate relationships when engaging with online dating platforms.In the beginning, these participants approached interactions with fexible goals, anticipating that as their connections with others deepened, their relationships would become more clear.This approach to relationship development could have been particularly meaningful in the conservative Korean context, where online dating holds the potential to be a crucial medium for queer women to explore a range of intimate and social interactions safely [67], without the fear of risky disclosures or confronting disparities in sexual orientation with potential partners.The assurance of a mutual understanding and acceptance of queerness, often unattainable in other settings, motivated participants to explore online dating.However, our fndings uncovered that participants felt compelled to prioritize romantic relationships in online dating, contrary to their initial intentions.They often encountered instances where conversations abruptly ended without explanation, leading to anxiety about being "ghosted."This pressure prompted participants to hastily push relationships forward to avoid being ignored.Consequently, they felt pressured to quickly establish romantic relationships as the only means to sustain connections through online dating platforms.In other words, participants found themselves focusing on fostering romantic attraction rather than taking the time to develop deeper connections based on mutual interests and compatibility.This shift in focus from diverse relationships to romantic ones ultimately led to disappointment and a failure to establish meaningful connections as initially hoped.
The inclination of participants towards prioritizing romantic relationships in online dating may be infuenced by conventional Korean family-oriented values, which emphasize heteronormative intimacy.Historically, intimacy in Korea has revolved around heterosexual romance and marriage, seen as essential for family formation [46,47].Therefore, romance, predominantly associated with (hetero)sexual behaviors and desires, is highly esteemed and idealized within this cultural context as the pinnacle of interpersonal relationships [9].In this context, other forms of social bonding are overshadowed as incomplete and unfnished ones, including various types of queer intimate connections, which have long been disregarded as temporary and feeting [39,48].As such, even though participants initially expected diverse connections through dating apps since they served as community platforms, the prevalent cultural emphasis on romance and the devaluation of various queer connections may have led them to prioritize romantic relationships, particularly when they felt obligated to develop relationships to a stable stage.In this context, exploring the inherent ambiguity, openness, and fexibility of queer intimacy [35] had become obscure under the heteronormative romance/sex models.
The afordances of online dating technology had signifcantly contributed to fostering a romance-oriented atmosphere, notably through its swiping interface.Participants highlighted the binary structure of the swiping interface, where they were prompted to make superfcial judgments by deciding whether to like or dislike others based solely on their visual attractiveness from profle photos.This observation echoed previous studies cautioning against the swiping interface prevalent in many mobile dating applications.These studies highlighted how the swiping interface could lead users to rapidly screen others' profles and routinely evaluate others' visual attractiveness [20,49].Furthermore, the binary decisionmaking structure of swiping has been shown to diminish the exchange of contextual information in relationships [1,11,17,40,41].In this "hook-up culture" [10], relationships formed on online dating apps tend to lack commitments and are perceived as volatile and fragile, leading to users experiencing difculties in developing meaningful connections [26,69].This body of research aligned with our fndings, where we observed frequent disconnections in inapp matching resulting in cumulative failure in developing diverse queer relationships.

Emphasizing Homogeneous Identity for Delineating Community Boundaries
Our fndings highlighted the exclusion and rejection experienced by specifc subgroups within the queer community on online dating platforms.A bisexual participant, for instance, reported encountering stereotypes and rejection in online dating when she explicitly indicated her identity as bisexual on her profle bio.Likewise, transgender individuals faced overt rejections during online dating, ostensibly for safety reasons.Some participants specifcally mentioned their discomfort with meeting transgender individuals within dating apps, citing safety concerns as the primary reason.They said they either directly experienced or heard of instances where male users, who falsely claimed to be transgender, harassed queer women by infltrating these platforms.These incidents had circulated within the community, prompting heightened concerns about dating applications' lax verifcation systems and vigilance against such threats.As a stronger protective measure, they strongly advocated for stringently screening users' selfes and profle photographs primarily aimed at preventing male intrusion.However, reinforcing such image-based user verifcation would, in turn, justify users' pursuit of shared identities, primarily cisgender lesbians, potentially sidelining women whose appearances, bodies, and practices deviate from them.This phenomenon refects the conventional defensive strategy long adopted by the Korean queer women's community.Historically, they have frequently encountered misogyny, sexual violence, homophobia, hate crimes, and infltration, which have instilled a shared anxiety among these communities [46,77].Due to limited legal and institutional resources for addressing these challenges in a conservative society, they have chosen to conceal themselves and seek refuge in hidden spaces, both in the physical world and online [46,77].To protect these sanctuaries from external threats, they have emphasized the shared identity among approved community members while regarding seemingly heterogeneous individuals as potential sources of threats [16].
However, this approach, while aiming to unify, might paradoxically enforce another layer of normativity.It risks marginalizing individuals within the community who do not align with the majority's characteristics, thereby regulating and excluding those who diverge from the perceived communal norm.In the history of the Korean queer women's communities, for example, queer women expressing socially constructed masculinity, such as butch lesbians, have faced exclusion from online lesbian communities since they disrupted the homogeneity of the community with their masculine voices and appearances [39,67].Similarly, transgender individuals, whose gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth, and those with non-exclusive romantic attractions, like bisexuals, have been seen as deviant from normative expectations within queer women community [67].Aligning with this historical emphasis, our fndings revealed that online dating space became exclusive to women with female bodies, solely interested in women.This norm further marginalized underrepresented members of the queer community.
We discussed how queerness could be normalized within Korean queer women's online dating experiences, considering the interplay between the technological afordances of dating applications and the dominant sociocultural norms in Korea.As a whole, our fndings highlighted the importance of considering the infuence of sociocultural contexts and technological afordances in shaping queerness.By examining the complex interplay of societal infuences, our discussion shed light on structural obstacles faced by queer communities in non-Western closeted social contexts.This comprehensive approach would help recognize the marginalization experienced by diverse queer groups within technological domains and to devise strategies that fully account for the unique sociocultural landscapes they navigate.

LIMITATIONS AND FUTURE WORK
While our study ofers rich insights into the online dating experiences of queer women in closeted non-Western countries like South Korea, it would be important to acknowledge its limitations.First, the demographic scope of our participants, ranging from 18 to 28 years old and residing in South Korea, may limit the generalizability of our fndings to those outside this age range and geographic location.Moreover, the majority of our participants, nine out of seventeen, were recruited from anonymous online forums for university students in metropolitan areas, likely skewing our sample towards individuals with higher education levels from urban settings.Further, as a result of privacy concerns, we could not collect detailed socioeconomic background information of participants.This limitation might prevent us from fully capturing the diverse experiences of queer women across diferent socioeconomic statuses.
Additionally, our participant pool, including individuals who identifed as lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, and/or asexual, may not fully encompass the experiences of other queer identities, such as transgender and genderqueer individuals.To ensure a more comprehensive and inclusive understanding, future research should endeavor to include a wider array of participant backgrounds.
Another potential limitation would be the composition of our research team, which lacked queer individuals, possibly introducing heteronormative biases into our data collection and analysis processes.We attempted to mitigate this by incorporating feedback from anonymous queer reviewers and drawing on our positions as allies.Still, future studies could beneft from a research team diverse in sexual orientations to better capture the nuanced experiences of these communities.

CONCLUSION
This study explored the online dating experiences of 17 Korean queer women, focusing on their initial expectations, the challenges posed by the normalization of queerness, and the coping mechanisms adopted within their community.Situated our fndings into the conservative and closeted societal context of South Korea, our participants had expected online dating platforms to ofer mutual assurance of queer sexualities, open-ended relationship building, and access to a wider community beyond their immediate queer social networks.However, they found themselves constrained by platforms' normalization frameworks that pressured them to conform their expressions of sexuality to gender-normative categorizations, adjust their expectations for relationships to align with romantic ideals, and marginalize less visible queer identities.In response, they crafted strategies to better leverage the immediacy of online dating technologies.Our fndings highlighted the persistent infuence of sociocultural norms within the online dating environment and the role of technology design in perpetuating these norms.As a whole, this study enhanced our understanding of how technology shapes queerness, particularly through the online dating experiences of queer women in non-Western contexts.

Table 1 :
Demographic Characteristics of Participants